


lose my breath

by liesmith



Category: NoPixel
Genre: Gift Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24367387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liesmith/pseuds/liesmith
Summary: boss looks awfuloris it prying when you're concerned?
Relationships: Joe Caine/Kevin Whipaloo
Kudos: 7





	lose my breath

Joe looks exhausted, sitting at the desk at the winery, chewing on a pen, a blank stare on his face. Kevin wonders if he should speak up, or make a noise, or wave his hand in Joe’s face, or… something. They were talking numbers before Joe trailed off and started burning a hole in the wall behind him; surely, the beige walls of the winery aren’t that fascinating, but hey, maybe they are to Joe.

“... Hey, Joe?” Kevin clears his throat as he speaks up, voice squeaking slightly, “Joe, you good?”

“What?” Joe looks at him, brows furrowed, teeth on the pen, “oh. Yeah, sorry. What were we talking about?”

“Our last shipment of wine, uh, the numbers are a little lower than the past couple of times, I just didn’t want you to worry, because, uh, I’m ready to get back in tip top shape, and, you… you know, bring our clients back in!”

“Oh. Money doesn’t bother me,” Joe places the pen down finally, drumming it now on the desk, “don’t worry. I know you run this place well; doesn’t bother me if we lose a few people. You’ll find new ones.”

Kevin laughs, looking away and rubbing the back of his head. “You’re sure optimistic for a 150k loss.”

“Do you need money?”

Kevin chokes and looks back at Joe, eyes wide. “What?”

“Do you need help, Kevin?”

“N-No! Oh, h-heavens, no, I’m fine, I just… I know this place is your baby.”

“I’ve put it in good hands,” Joe stands up from his chair, tucking the pen behind his ear as he rounds the desk, sitting on the corner of it, “you take good care of my baby.”

Kevin’s mind says _you, you’re the baby_ , but he just laughs, red spreading over his cheeks. Fuck, being a nervous blusher sucked. “Right, I, I… I’ll do you proud, Joe.”

“You always do, Kevin,” Joe reaches out to pat his arm, causing Kevin to stifle a noise, “anything else you wanted to talk about?”

The bags under your eyes. Your cheeks look a little sunk in, Joe, are you drinking water? What about food? Joe, where’s Otto? There’s dried blood on the stair banisters, it wasn’t there yesterday, did you get hurt? “U-Uh, no, I…,” He trails off for a moment, hands sliding together before Kevin swallowed, head dipping, “... you look like… just… awful, Joe. You look a-awful.”

The hand on his arm tenses before it withdraws and Joe clears his throat, arms crossing over his chest. “... I can admit I haven’t been keeping an eye on myself. It’s been a little… hectic, in my life, lately.”

Kevin remembers the blood on the pink floral print shirt just a few weeks ago. Somehow, Joe looked better in that moment than right now. “You should… e-eat, Joe. Really. Uh, it’ll… be good. For you.”

Joe cracks a small smile and Kevin swears his eyes flash behind those sunglasses. “You think so, Kevin? You want to go get dinner?”

Kevin feels his body heat up. “O-Oh, um… sure. Yes. Sure, Joe. Let’s go get dinner.”

“What a nice date,” Joe murmurs, stepping off his desk and beckoning Kevin with two fingers, leaving the office like he didn’t just set Kevin’s anxiety at 200. And… speaking of, Kevin just stares at where Joe once was, heart hammering in his chest. A date? Joe, he had, he _had_ to be joking. There was no way this was a date. They were just going to go down and get burgers, or tacos down at Southside, or… something. This wasn’t a big deal. Kevin had to stop making it a big deal, he had to _stop_ thinking, and just pretend it-

“Kevin,” Joe’s voice is sweet from the doorway, a hand on the frame as he looks at the blond, “are you coming?”

“Y-Yes, sir,” Kevin manages, trying not to trip over himself as he follows Joe out of the winery, glancing briefly at his little hunk of junk sat next to Joe’s Stinger, trying not to feel a little embarrassed. Poor thing looked so fucking out of place next to it, though it really just looked out of place existing here at the vineyard. He was quiet as he climbed into the Stinger, trying not to notice the dent in his door or the droplets of dried _something_ on the dashboard. They were just going to go get food.

He didn’t have to think about anything but that.

Joe’s quiet as he pulls out of the winery, the gentle hum of the car filling the silence as they drive down the dirt road, windows down as the small evening breeze travels, ruffling Kevin’s hair as they drive. The silence doesn’t help Kevin’s anxiety at all, and when he chances a glance or two towards Joe, setting sun shining on him, wind fluffing his hair back and exposing a sliver of his chest when it hits right, and Kevin’s heart is caught in his throat.

He looks so stupid gorgeous.

Kevin’s head ducks as he looks down at his lap instead, hands turning over themselves as he tries to keep his mind off of Joe, the way the sunset throws an angelic halo around him, the way Joe flicks the radio on and lowers the music, one hand out the window as the other barely steers, wrist resting on the top of the wheel. He’s not doing a good job at not _looking_ , wishing he had his own pair of sunglasses to hide his timid glances at Joe. If the brunet notices, he doesn’t say anything, but Kevin doesn’t know if Joe’s just being sweet on him for not pointing out his nervous fidgets and uncertain glances.

Slowly they hit the city, sun behind them and illuminating the interior with fire. Kevin sinks back in his seat, listening to the soft ballad on the radio play out, hands clasped together as they drive. Kevin feels the urge to say something, a tickle in his throat, but what does he say? He wants to ask why there’s a dent in his door. Why there’s blood on the dashboard, he knows it’s blood, what the hell was he thinking trying to fool himself earlier to pretend it wasn’t blood, and…

“Kevin, what did you say?”

Kevin freezes as Joe addresses him, blood rushing to his ears. “W-What?”

“You were mumbling about blood. What’s wrong?” The car’s paused at a red light and Joe is looking at him, a brow raised from behind the sunglasses, “are you okay?”

“Why is there blood in your car?” Kevin spits it out, fast and sudden, eyes wide before he covers his mouth with his hand, looking out the window. Shouldn’t have asked that, he knows better, but it’s killing him, “the d-dent, in my door, Joe, what did you hit?”

“Oh,” Joe looks straight ahead again as the light turns green, scratching at his scruff as he takes a right, cruising steady through the city, “I guess I didn’t clean up as well as I thought.”

That doesn’t quell Kevin at all, leaning forward a little with his shoulders hunched, comprehending the news. Joe _did_ something in this car and Kevin was sitting here, playing dumb, not knowing a single thing about what had occurred, and…

“Do you remember those men who shot me?”

“O-Of course, L… Lang and his friend, Al or whatever…”

“I was just… returning the favor,” Joe’s voice is a little hard, not the sleepy soft Kevin is used too, and he swallows hard around a lump in his throat, “an eye for an eye, right, Kevin?”

“... J-Joe, I… um, I…” Kevin’s mind races, wonders what he could even say back. Did Joe kill them, in this car? Drag their bodies to the winery and leave them for the birds to take care of? The wild animals?

“They’re not dead,” Joe offers in a helpful tone, as if that is what Kevin wants to hear, “they just got a taste of their own medicine. Are you worried?”

“Yes,” Kevin breathes the word as Joe finally pulls into the parking lot for the taco shop, looking at his boss, “I worry about you all the time, Joe.”

“That’s sweet.”

“I’m n-not kidding, Joe!”

“I know you’re not,” Joe cuts the engine to the Stinger, rubbing his scruff as he looks out his window, “that’s why I don’t want you to think about anything but the wine, Kev. Put your trust in me; I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Kevin’s shoulders sag as the fight leaves him. Joe’s right, he knows Joe’s right, but…

“I don’t… w-want anything to happen to you, Joe.”

Joe hums. “... I know,” He says, shifting in his seat, turning to face Kevin. Hands reach up to grab Kevin’s cheeks, squishing them slowly as Joe looks at him from over his glasses, “but listen to me, Kevin. I will keep you safe.”

Kevin is quiet as he just stares back at Joe before suddenly he can’t hold it anymore, emotions breaking under Joe’s touch as he hiccups, eyes closing as tears dot his eyelashes instantly. There’s a noise from Joe, as if he can’t understand how to help Kevin. His hands lower before Kevin feels one brush against his cheek bone, wipe away a stray one.

“You can’t get tacos if you’re going to cry, Kevin. I’ll turn us back around and go home.”

The tone is soft and sweet and joking and it makes Kevin hiccup with a laugh, covering his face with his hands, trying to hide himself away. “J-Joe, s-sorry, sorry, I…”

“Wait here,” Joe murmurs, soft as he gently lays a hand on Kevin’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze before leaving the Stinger, car door slam echoing in the night. An ad on the radio drones on about some movie and Kevin tries to focus on the announcer’s voice, the excited tone to it, and before he knows it, Joe is flooding his vision again. The tears are dry now, he just half hearted sniffles, and Joe quietly sets a bag in his lap.

“Tacos.”

“Tacos,” Kevin repeats, looking confused as he sets them down on the floor mat, taking the tray handed to him next, “... ice cream?”

“It’s fried. I figured you’d like it.”

“... Thank you,” Kevin says softly, trying not to let the flood of emotions hit him again as Joe pulls out of the parking lot, starting to drive again. The night has set in, sun long gone, but when Kevin manages to sneak a glance at Joe, the city lights illuminate him anyways. It takes a moment for Kevin to realize they’re not going back to the vineyard. The city still falls away as Joe drives through the outskirts and the buildings are more scattered. Curiosity tugs at him as he glances back at Joe, clearing his throat softly.

“Where are we going?”

“My house out here,” Joe takes a turn into a driveway as he responds, cutting his engine. Kevin sits there, a little foolish, as he watches Joe climb out, wondering if he’s going to get any help. Joe appears in his window a moment later, holding his hands out for the tray, and Kevin happily hands it over as he climbs out with the taco bag, following Joe to the front door. The front door swings open and Joe flicks on a light, illuminating the small living room, and the even smaller kitchen attached. Huh.

Certainly modest. Not like Joe at all.

“Make yourself at home.”

Kevin squirms, feeling out of place. He steps out of his shoes before staring at Joe’s couch, watching as the brunet sets up shop, setting the tray down onto the coffee table before lounging back against the leather, arm outstretched across the back as his leg crosses over the other. He’s playing with a television remote as Kevin still just stands there, smacking the back of it for a moment before managing to get the tv to come to life.

“... Huh. I guess I didn’t pay the cable bill here,” Joe drones, flipping through a few channels before settling on some late night television show on the basic package, glancing at Kevin, “are you going to come sit? I’m starving.”

“R-Right!” Kevin squeaks out, hurrying to the couch and setting the bag down onto the table. After that, he sits there awkwardly, watching as Joe pokes through the bag before grabbing something wrapped in tinfoil. Kevin looks away, knows watching someone eat is so weird, but he can’t focus on the television, either, but maybe _he_ should just eat, too. He finds a little taco wrapped in paper and quietly takes a few bites, almost hunched over on the couch. He’s just trying to not get any crumbs anywhere, but in the end, he feels out of place, sat on a cheap couch, in Joe’s house, eating tacos, watching late night television.

Everything feels surreal. He was _just_ crying.

Kevin finishes his food, quietly balling up the paper and setting it on the table and trying an attempt to shrink back into the couch, hands between his knees as he unconsciously lifts his shoulders, just staring ahead, not even watching the television, just looking. He’s zoned out enough that he doesn’t notice Joe move into his space, presenting a spoon of ice cream to him.

“Kev.”

Kevin jumps, hand on his chest as he registers Joe, Joe’s voice, Joe trying to feed him ice cream. “J-Joe, uh…”

“Take a bite. It’s good,” Joe murmurs, holding the spoon closer, “you looked like you were… out of it. Maybe your sugar is low.”

“I… u-uh, I don’t have… diabetes?” Kevin still opens his mouth though, lets Joe feed him the spoonful. Kevin swallows it around letting it melt for a moment in his mouth, cheeks flooding with color as he realizes how close Joe is right now, ice cream in one hand and the other going for another spoonful. Joe takes another bite before scooping up yet another, holding it out to Kevin. He squirms before realizing his fate, knows Joe will just keep offering him bites, and quietly takes it, body burning with embarrassment.

“It’s good,” Joe speaks up, swirling the spoon in the cup, “it’s all pretty alright. We can go back for a second date.”

Kevin chokes. Joe just offers him another bite, which he takes because that means he doesn’t have to speak. Second date… Joe wasn’t joking about this being a date. Or maybe he was, and was playing the long con, wanted to see how far he could push Kevin. Maybe Joe was trying to kill him using anxiety.

That seemed right to Kevin, at least.

The ice cream is exchanged until Joe is scraping the bottom, trying to get some of the melted bit, taking that for himself before setting it back down on the coffee table, settling back into the sink of the leather couch. Kevin just stares, unable to help it now, mind racing a mile a minute. There were a thousand questions he wanted to ask, but they all stemmed back to _why me, why me Joe, why me me me me me me me me_

“You’re doing it again.”

Kevin’s jaw goes slack. “What?”

“Under your breath. You’re talking again.”

Fuck. Kevin covers his face with a hand, trying to even his breathing as he lowers it after a moment, looking at Joe. “... I… think I should go lie down.”

Joe looks like he’s contemplating the question for a moment before he nods, turning the television off and getting up. “It’s been a long day.”

Kevin gets up himself, figures Joe’s going to show him to the guest room, but that would be too easy. Joe merely gestures Kevin into a room, clearly the bedroom, and says nothing as he undresses. Kevin stares for a moment before he covers his face, body burning up completely. No way was this happening to him; crawling into bed with his half naked boss. When he peeks through his fingers, Joe is laid out on the bed, legs already tangled in the blanket, laying on his stomach.

“Lie down, Kevin.”

Kevin stares down at himself and awkwardly climbs onto Joe’s bed, moving as far away from him as possible. It’s not hard to do, anyways; the thing is fucking huge, and even if Joe’s kind of in the middle, it’s still far enough from Joe that Kevin can kind of breath. He wiggles down, rolls onto his own stomach, pulling a pillow close to his head.

It doesn’t last long. Joe is soon in his space, shoulders touching as he gets comfortable in his new spot. Kevin’s pretty sure he stops breathing, watching Joe settle down like a cat, eyes lidding as his gaze catches Kevin’s wide eyed stare. Something should be happening, Kevin thinks, remembers all those cheesy teen movies he watched, but he can’t bring himself to do any of it.

At least Joe has a working brain. A hand touches Kevin’s cheek, and then a thumb presses into his bottom lip, trails to his jaw, and then Joe leans forward and kisses him. It’s…

It’s everything Kevin would have hoped for. Despite his mind screaming at him, he responds, a hand tentatively reaching up to touch Joe’s shoulder, unsure of where else to put it. When Joe pulls back, he just laughs, a soft sound as he rolls onto his side, lifting an arm. Kevin hesitates, wonders if he fucked up, but slowly scoots his body into Joe’s touch, the arm wrapping around his shoulders at Kevin finds their foreheads touching, noses bumping into each other as he just stares at Joe, heart in his throat.

“... Trust me, Kevin. I’ll take care of you.”

Kevin melts into the soft sheets, head dropping to Joe’s shoulder as he closes his eyes. A hand settles into the back of his hair, fingers just soft as they card through the short blond, and Kevin can’t help the hiccup that escapes him. Joe hums something soft against his temple and despite all odds, when Kevin’s eyes reopen, the sunrise is flitting through the blinds. Joe’s still holding him, though he’s rolled away a little, an arm laid over his waist.

The glow is back, the soft orange haze that envelops Joe’s body, that Kevin _knows_ isn’t angelic, his boss is so far from it, but…

He kisses Joe softly, resigning himself to it, feeling arms pull him back down into the sheets, into the warm body next to him, and Kevin lets go for the first time in weeks.

**Author's Note:**

> for aki
> 
> normansbones @ twitter


End file.
